If you were to conduct a survey asking people if there’s anything they’d like to change about their appearance, many young women would most likely answer with an enthusiastic “yes!”
From the moment we start consuming media, society sends us messages about what we should look like. We see it when we watch movies or TV shows, read magazines, or go on social media. Sometimes, it can be hard to feel satisfied with your appearance after being bombarded with so many negative messages.
Though people of any gender can have body image issues, women and girls are affected much more frequently. Research by the Dove Self-Esteem Project found that only 11% of girls worldwide feel comfortable describing themselves as “beautiful,” while 72% of girls feel tremendous pressure to be beautiful.
With social media playing a significant role in the lives of today’s kids and teens, we’ve put together a list of 5 things all girls should know to help them maintain a healthy body image while navigating the online world:
Beware of filters and Photoshop
While scrolling through Instagram, it can be easy to assume everyone else leads amazing lives and always looks perfect. That’s why it’s so important to keep in mind that apps like Instagram and TikTok have the capacity to present a false representation of reality.
Not only do users carefully choose which photos, videos, and moments from their lives they want to share, but apps and filters are available to “improve” a person’s appearance. The average user now has more power than ever to carefully shape the image they want to present to their followers.
Check out this photo of Kris Jenner and Gordon Ramsay that Ramsay shared on Instagram:
Now take a look at a similar photo, this time shared by Jenner:
Notice anything different? Both photos were taken at the same time in the same location, but they look different due to the filters and editing tools used on each one.
Ramsay’s photo has been altered through a filter that changes the exposure, saturation, contrast, clarity, etc. of a photo. Jenner’s photo is altered in a different way, through the use of an editor that utilizes a skin-smoothing tool.
The original photos were similar, but the outcomes are very different.
Pay attention to who you follow
How do the accounts you follow on social media make you feel? Are there any that consistently give you negative feelings about yourself? These could be beauty bloggers, fitness gurus, or anyone else who focuses a lot on appearance.
After identifying these accounts, try an experiment where you mute some of them for one week. Then, after a week passes, evaluate how being on social media during that time made you feel. Did you have a better experience? Fewer negative feelings? If so, you might want to permanently unfollow those accounts and any others that make you feel bad about yourself.
Only follow and pay attention to users who make you happy and give you a positive social media experience. If you don’t know who to follow, try searching online for influencers who promote body positivity, such as Louise Green, a fitness expert who wrote the book Big Fit Girl: Embrace the Body You Have:
If you’re interested in fitness, you should also focus on how it can improve your physical and mental health, rather than trying to use it as a way to reshape your body.
Take a look at this Instagram post from Mario Lopez (a Boys & Girls Club alumnus!) where he talks about the mental benefits he receives from exercise:
There's a lot you don't see behind the camera
Movies, TV shows, magazines, and beauty influencers can create a narrow, unfair idea of what beauty is. The media often pushes an idealized image of how a person should look in order to sell us a “better” version of ourselves through makeup products, diet pills, plastic surgery, and more.
It may help you to remember that a lot goes on behind the scenes that you don’t see. Celebrities generally have entire teams of professionals behind them: hairdressers, stylists, makeup artists, lighting people, wardrobe people, camera people, and so many others. These teams are what allow celebrities to achieve any look they want.
For instance, have you ever wished your hair looked more like the women’s in shampoo commercials? Well, to achieve that, you would need invisible people to follow you around. No, seriously:
So if you ever find yourself comparing your appearance to that of someone on the big screen, remember there’s a good chance even the person you wish you looked like doesn’t look like that.
Don't engage in negative self-talk
Don’t make negative comments about yourself, and definitely don’t do what the characters in Mean Girls do in the image at the top of this post. Try to catch yourself whenever you make any negative comments, such as, “My hairline is weird,” or, “My pores are huge,” and replace that comment with a positive phrase about yourself instead.
It may be difficult at first, but psychologists say the key to changing your thought patterns is repetition. Once you stop being mean to yourself, you’ll feel better, and if you keep repeating your positive phrases, you’ll eventually start to believe them.
If you’re having trouble thinking of positive things to say to yourself, imagine you’re talking to a good friend instead. If she called herself ugly, how would you respond? Talk to yourself like you would talk to this friend. Identify things you like about yourself, like, “I have a nice smile,” or, “I am unique,” and remind yourself of these things when you feel down. You would probably never insult the appearance of someone you love, so don’t insult your own appearance either.
When trying to identify things to like about yourself, it might also help to keep in mind that we’re usually our own worst critics. No one is thinking about your perceived flaws as much as you are. Other people might not notice them or even think of them as flaws at all. We’re often kinder to other people than we are to ourselves, so that’s why you might want to try looking at yourself the way you think a friend would.
Think about what your body can do for you
When you think about your body, don’t think about what it looks like. Instead, think about all the amazing things it can do. What are your hobbies? Do you like playing sports? Dancing? Painting? Your body is what allows you to do those things.
If someone asks you what you like about your body, try answering the question with something your body can do, rather than something about your appearance.
A person’s value doesn’t come from what they look like. If you can recognize that what’s inside matters more than what’s on the outside and there’s not just one way to be beautiful, you’ll be able to feel more confident and enjoy a happier, healthier life.
