If you’ve ever watched your kids fight, comforted them after a meltdown, or heard “That’s not fair!” shouted at you from across the house, you know dealing with big feelings is part of parenting.
Helping kids manage their emotions and build strong relationships is just as important as teaching them reading, math, or any other subject in school.
A 2022 study found that about 1 in 5 youth face symptoms of anxiety or depression. When it comes to navigating everyday life, emotional skills are just as critical as academic ones.
That’s where Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) comes in:
What is SEL and why is it important?
Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) is the development of skills we need to understand and manage emotions, build healthy relationships, make good choices, and show empathy for others. With SEL, kids develop the tools they need to handle challenges, connect with others, and grow into kind, resilient people.
SEL helps kids recognize what they’re feeling, understand how others might be feeling, and determine the best way to respond. These skills don’t just appear on their own; kids build them by learning and practicing every day.
Research shows that learning these social and emotional skills helps kids do better in school, form stronger relationships with friends and teachers, feel a stronger sense of safety and belonging, and become more resilient even when things don’t go their way.
SEL helps shape who kids become as people and prepares them to handle all of life’s ups and downs. SEL builds the foundation for happier, healthier, more successful futures.
What can you do to support SEL for your kids?
You can help your kids build SEL skills in small, everyday moments:
Talk about your feelings
Don’t be afraid to name and talk about feelings, both your kids’ and your own, so emotions feel normal and manageable. If younger kids need some extra help explaining what they’re feeling, try using a feelings chart or giving them some examples of different emotions.
Practice mindfulness
Teach your kids simple relaxation or mindfulness techniques for when they’re overwhelmed by feelings. You can guide them to take slow, deep breaths; notice things they can see, hear, or touch; or gently stretch and move to release tension. These calming strategies help kids manage strong emotions, feel more in control, and respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively.
Have daily check-ins
Incorporate daily check-ins or reflection time into your routine to give kids regular practice sharing their thoughts and feelings. If you’re reading with your kids every day, you can also check in with them about the books you read. Help your kids build empathy by discussing the thoughts, feelings, relationships, and choices of the characters in the stories.
Model positive behavior
Kids learn from what they see, not what they are told to do, so teach patience, kindness, and calm behavior by demonstrating these behaviors yourself. You can also involve your kids in problem-solving and decision-making. When there’s a conflict, whether it’s about chores, screen time, or siblings, work with your kids to find fair solutions.
Celebrate effort
Praise your kids when they work hard, make positive choices, and show kindness, not just when they succeed or do well in school. Highlighting qualities like persistence and compassion helps kids understand that learning and growing aren’t about getting perfect results. What’s important is trying their best and building the skills that will help them thrive in everyday life.
What else should you know about SEL?
According to the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning, there are 5 key areas of learning that SEL covers:
Self-awareness. This is the ability to understand your own thoughts and emotions and recognize how they influence your behavior. For example, if you notice that you’re feeling frustrated because you can’t solve a problem, you’re practicing self-awareness.
Self-management. This is the ability to manage and control your thoughts and emotions to achieve your goals. This includes managing your stress during tough situations, showing courage when you’re nervous or scared, and using planning or organizational skills.
Social awareness. This is the ability to understand and empathise with other people, including people who are different from you. For instance, if you notice that your friend seems sad, you are using your social awareness.
Relationship skills. This is the ability to make and maintain healthy relationships with other people through collaboration and clear communication. Taking turns, saying sorry, or working through a disagreement are all ways to practice relationship skills.
Responsible decision-making. This is the ability to make good choices about personal behavior and in social situations. Telling the truth even when it’s hard is an example of responsible decision-making.
With SEL, kids learn and develop these important life skills!
Social-Emotional Learning is built through everyday moments at home and school. Noticing feelings, celebrating effort, and modeling kindness will help your kids develop the tools they need to navigate life, connect with others, and become the best version of themselves. 💙
